LOUIS JAMES WHEELER - 1943 - 2007

It is a somber day in many households, for today our beloved Louis James Wheeler traveled through the doors of heaven. Louie expired around 11:30am today, after a short yet painful and difficult battle with CJD.
We ask that you pray for strength for the family during these difficult times. The funeral will be held on Friday, December 28th, 2007 at 11:00am in Albany, OR. We will post more information as it comes available.
I LOVE YOU DAD AND I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!! :(

Frightening Morning

Very early this morning, we had a real scare. I have a baby monitor in my bedroom which is connected to the room where Louie's bed is. I heard him calling my name, so I ran to his room and he said he was thirsty, so I gave him some water. He said that felt better so I went back to bed. About 5 minutes later, he called my name several times in just a few seconds, so I RAN to his room and he said he couldn't breathe. I called out for Tammy to come right away. I then got the morphine and gave him some as it is supposed to help with breathing difficulties. Then I called the Hospice number right away - the nurse told me to give him a little more morphine and she would be coming right away. She was 11 miles away and it seemed like it took forever for her to get here. Tammy and I were so scared!!! We thought we were "losing him" right then. I kept feeling his diaphram to see how his breathing was - it would be real shallow, then a little stronger, and even stopped at times. I knew I had to hold myself together, but it sure was difficult. I kept telling him I loved him, and held his hand and rubbed his face. Finally the nurse got here and she checked everything and said that his lungs sounded good and so did his heart. She gave him some Klonopin which helps anxiety and reassured us that he had an anxiety attack which caused the trouble breathing. We told her how we couldn't give him his anti-depressant anymore as he has so much trouble swallowing, so she said they would put in an order for a liquid form of an anti-depressant that we will get tomorrow. There is no doubt how depressed and scared he is going through this horrible disease which shows new symptoms every day. It is SO hard for Tammy and me to see him going through all this - our hearts are just breaking. The nurse also put in an order for oxygen to have here in the house in case this happens again - she said that will help him a lot. Between the morphine and klonopin, he has been sleeping soundly. Tammy and I are both torn between not wanting him to "leave us" and wanting to "let him go" so he won't keep suffering. It is the hardest thing we both have ever been through!!!!!

He had such a tough day yesterday as he was crying over and over SO hard that it broke our hearts. He is thinking so much about his whole life (which is what happens when a person is dying) - we could actually see the pain coming from his heart and soul. I told him that he would always be in my heart forever, and that I would always be in his heart forever. He nodded his head. It is so hard for him to talk.

Three different couples from church came to see him this afternoon. He loves all of them and, as they talked together, he just sobbed. He doesn't want to leave everyone who loves him so much!! They were all crying, too.

I am so afraid of the days to come knowing I will witness the many new symptoms as they progress through this horrific disease. I don't know if I can bear to see him go through all this. I have people lined up to stay with me both Monday and Tuesday nights - they are called "Living Angels" who you hire to help in any way you want. They will be awake all night and alert me if anything happens where I will need to help him with either morphine or oxygen, etc. They will also be here for 4 hours on Tuesday and 3 hours on Wednesday. My daughter, Stephanie and granddaughter, Gabriella will get here late Wednesday afternoon. That will be a huge support for me during the toughest days ahead.

Having Tammy here has been a gigantic blessing to me, and I can never show her enough how special and precious she is to me. We have bonded together and been a strength to one another. She has also done SOO much for me to help me out with things I will have to deal with after Louie is gone. She just amazes me with the things she has done and even thinks of that I can't even deal with right now. I will be forever grateful to her and am honored to be her step-mother.

I pray that God will take Louie soon so he won't have to keep suffering, and yet I can't bear to think of losing him. Everything I look at reminds me of him. I am naturally afraid of being without him, and know that the grieving process won't be easy. With the help of my church family, wonderful friends and family members, I know that I will somehow get through it. I ask God for strength, courage and comfort every day.

We appreciate all your many thoughts and prayers more than we can say.

Love,

Connie